I've pull it out and dusted it off. It's been revised a bit as well. I originally wrote and recorded this back in 2003 and it aired it several times on the show. Many asked for copy. So here it is for you.
You have to use a bit of imagination as you read it but I hope you get a chuckle out of it.
'Twas the Night Before a Liberal Christmas" -2005
(Another Liberal Revision)
We now present the holiday classic ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas in a slightly “liberalized” version…..
Twas the night before Christmas
Oh stop you’ll have to end it…
You can’t say the word CHRISTMAS someone might get offended!
If I can’t say CHRISTMAS then what shall I say
How bout’ we call it a festive holiday!!!!
That’s stupid. But have it your way.
Twas the night before…. a festive holiday.
The Children were nestled all sung in their beds.
All day they watched MTV, Will & Grace and Friends!
Momma in her kerchief and I in my cap
What if we changed it to a same sex couple? What do you think of that?
If we were in Massachusetts it might be OK
But let’s leave it the way it is. Nobody’s GAY!
Ok maybe next year.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
It was probably one of those SUV’s I bet that’s what’s the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash
It was Bill & Hillary hosting an “I hate Bush Bash”
When what to my wonder eyes should appear?
But Donald Rumsfeld and he bombed all the reindeer!
If you keep interrupting me ……
My you need to be a bit more tolerant
A little old driver so lively and quick
It was President George and Vice President Dick
That’s it! I give up! You finish it!
Ok…. Forget the chimney, they kicked in the door
Looking for terrorists, screaming “everyone on the floor”
And they didn’t bring presents cause the economy’s hurtin’
Unless you are working for ole Halliburton
Not a ribbon, nor a bow, nothing in his sack
We’ve sent all the gifts to our friends in IRAQ
The radical right, religious zelots full of hate.
But that will all change in 2008!
Cause we have John Kerry and of course Hillary
They’d make a great team, you know what I mean?
Oh, Barbara Streisand will be singing, the Dixie Chicks too
And we’ll have such a joyous treat for all of you
We’ll make Jesus illegal
And morals will be gone
You can do what you want, nothing will be wrong
I just can’t wait till we win again
Higher taxes, free condoms
Let the party begin
And you’ll hear us exclaim as we fade out of sight
Welcome to La La Land where the left is always right.
Happy Sparkle Season everyone!
1 comment:
Ouch, my side hurts so much. You win the great posts of the day award. Thanks i really enjoyed it, thanks for posting it.
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