V-Day

Ok it's over. 364 days to go till the next one.

I don’t know why I always wait until the last minute to buy my wife’s Valentine’s Day present. Most likely, it’s because I’m a guy.

It’s a terrifying ordeal trying to pick out a Valentine’s Day card on Valentine’s Day evening because there is absolutely no selection left. I don’t know who else could have bought up all the good cards because all the men on the planet are standing right there beside me in the greeting card aisle looking as scared and lost as I.

The only cards left by that time are written in some strange, soap opera-type language that I don’t even understand and say things like, “My Darling, blah-blah rose petals something something cherish you yada yada eternity.” Let me tell you, I’m as romantic as the next guy but if I go home with a card like that, my wife is going to look at me like I just beamed down from the planet Weirdonia.

So why do I wait? Well, the same thing happens every year. About one week before Valentine’s Day, I think that the big day is nowhere on the radar, so I figure I still have plenty of time. About one day before Valentine’s Day, I realize it’s time to start thinking about what gift to buy so I decide to research the subject by watching television. Then on Valentine’s Day, I sense warning bells deep within me.

When the day comes I begin my five-step Valentine’s Day shopping ritual. Step 1 - Go to the flower store and discover there are no flowers left. If there are flowers ,they are dead, ugly and very expensive (even for good looking flowers). The clerk gives me the stupid "I got you right where I want you" grin and I refuse to fell. So I get back in car and throw a mini temper tantrum.

Step 2 - Go to the candy store and discover there is a world chocolate shortage. Briefly contemplate purchasing my wife a pack of Skittles for Valentine’s Day. But then I remember my wife doesn't really like candy that much. So I decided against the Skittles.

Step 3 - Rush to mall and enter swanky department store. Enter the ladies department. Whatever I buy will be either to big ("Do I look this Fat?") or too small ("Do you wish I was this small?") The whole time I get ugly looks from every woman within visual range because they know I didn't plan very well. So I tear out of ladies department like a convict with a pack of blood hounds at his heels.

Step 4 - Resign myself to buying my way out of the dilemma. Go to jewelry store and wait in line behind about fifty thousand other schmos who are in the same predicament as myself. It’s a shame that Valentine’s Day can turn into one more thing on our list to accomplish, isn’t it? That doesn’t seem like a very good way to celebrate our relationships.

Sometimes a relationship with God can be that way. We can go through all the motions without experiencing a real connection. All of the trappings of Christianity — church services, reading the Bible, praying, etc. — can either be opportunities to connect with God, or just more stuff to tick off our lists in an effort to make sure we don’t get in trouble. If the latter is our motive, then we’ve managed to miss the romance of knowing God. FYI, don't believe what they say a Chia Pet does NOT make a great gift!